new wrinkle morning

'Nature gives you the face you have at twenty. Life shapes the face you have at thirty. It is up to you to earn the face you have at forty.'
coco chanel

this morning I awoke to a new wrinkle. Have you ever done that? Overnight, become something you didn't for see?! No warning that it's arrival was imminent? No slow sneaking up on me; first a little crease that comes and goes when I smile, then a thread of evidence-present daily; to a sure enough line that never leaves...
This one just showed up and refused to go away. Sat there at the left edge of my lip, taunting and teasing me with the evidence of it so close to my birthday. Age. I remember wanting to grow up. I remember wanting to be a full fledged adult with all the perks and advantages written into that contract.
I don't remember penciling in wrinkles on my over 30 contract. I tend to not read fine print, but I distinctly feel there was a lacking of wrinkle verbage on my grow old registration.
And while I can see them on others and think them distinguishing, enlivening and even very much attractive, I can not forgive their appearance on my own face~it's just wrong after all! Wrinkles and grey hair; what do they prove?!
It's not that I don't appreciate my age; I really like being just where I am in my years. And I don't deny the reality that 43 years of living very much brings about signs of wear and tear. It's just that I don't' want them on me! :)
Perhaps, as I contemplate this statement, I will have to take that back though. Because if I can't show wear and tear on the outside, must one argue that it has to show up somewhere else? And if not on the outside, does that only leave the inside?! Imagine that; the wrinkles showing up on the inside. The wear and tear of 43 years doing its number through wrinkles on my intestines, grey creeping into my brian, dark spots on my heart. No siree! thank you but no.
I've just begun the cleaning of my insides; the refreshing bath of acceptance that arrives with age; the blessing of wisdom and insight which is allowing me to become one of those beautiful, aging-gracefully beings. I'm okay with keeping the wear and tear on the outside. The inside is quite appreciative of this growing older phase;) I'll keep the wrinkles on the outside: Live them with a smile and hope they reflect the shiny bright gracefully growing inside:) in love. trish.

when i grow up i want to be....

for years I wanted to be older, and now I am.
margaret atwood

It's my birthday today! I am 43 years old. Or young~I intend to live to 106 so I think I'm still on the 'young' side of life!

I've seen a lot over my years; everyone who's been around for any length of time can say this. I've felt a lot over my years; hopefully anyone who's been around for any length of time will say this! I've learned a lot over my years; unfortunately not enough of the anyone's who've been around for any length of time can say this....

Learning is a personal choice made over the coarse of one's life. It's not about going to school and getting good grades. Or about replacing the toilet without the help of a plumber. Or about following a recipe in order to make a sick cheesecake. I'm talking about the learning that happens only when you've made a dramatic life choice and determined that you were ready to face the repercussions; the learning, of this choice.

Three years ago I made the dramatic life choice to end my 17 year marriage. This was a final decision, coming on the heels of many years of almost decisions. I knew not where the choice would take me. I hadn't a clue what would happen in the legal and financial realm. I was terrified of the consequences that would be coming in my children's lives. But I knew I had to make this life choice. The alternatives were unacceptable. I was choosing to learn.

I failed a few tests. I suffered through moments of completely not getting it. I pulled a few all nighters cramming for the final.
But I also Aced some tests. I also 'got it' a lot of the time. I also came out on the other side of hard work to reap the rewards of my efforts. And I became what I always wanted to be when I grew up; me. Just me. The real, honest, always growing, always trying to fully accept-me. Comfortable, connected, accepted and accepting; me. It feels good to learn. It feels really, really good. I think I'll keep it up for another year. No, another 63 years~Happy Birthday to me :) in love. trish.

lessons in home ownership

Floors wet. Ceiling caved in. Insulation trashed. Carpets lost. Pipes riddles with cracks. Wall torn open. No sign of insurance adjustor.

Faith strong. Trust complete. Spirits high. Silver lining shining through. Conviction unwavering. Blessings abound. Panic attacks thwarted....

distress!

out of town guest! yeah~

burst pipes. dealing with homeowners insurance for the first time. boo~

deadline moved up on an article and artwork. ah!

must respond to a hideously official letter.....gack~

I'll come back to myself sometime soon :)

in love. trish.

love. that's all~

we are not human beings trying to be spiritual. We are spiritual beings trying to be human.
jacquelyn small.
in love. trish.

maine....ahhhhh!

Going to travel from this most northwest point to the most northeast point! Join me in Maine in June!!!!

http://www.acadiaworkshopcenter.com/

have you seen it yet?!

Somerset studio november/december issue has published an encaustic article by moi! Not only this, but one of the enclosed scrapbooking papers is a redux of my imagery :) too cool. in love. trish.